Robyn’s story: balancing care with independence

Life doesn’t stop as we age—we just might need some extra help.

In the push–pull of autonomy and support, the sweet spot is often a situation where we can get the help we need, while continuing to live as independently as possible. For some of us, that could mean getting some extra support around the house or downsizing.

For Robyn this balance came when she moved to a retirement community with her late-husband Malcolm.

Far from stifling Robyn’s autonomy, the move offered her a whole new lease on life—meaning she could provide much needed care to Malcolm, while enjoying independence and a sense of community.

Making the move

Robyn’s move into Australian Unity’s Constitution Hill retirement community came after she and her late husband, Malcolm, were told that he would need full-time care for Parkinson’s disease.

Despite his waning physical abilities, Malcolm—a composer and musician—immediately became an active community member.

“He was a very creative man,” says Robyn, “so he started running the singing group, continued to make music, and even joined craft groups. He was so personable that the community warmed to us and took us under their wing right away.”

Robyn jumped right into the community’s activities too, joining an art class, aqua aerobics and a line dancing group. These groups were an unexpected bonus of Constitution Hill, helping the couple to make new friends and pursue their creative and personal passions.

Balancing independence and support

Initially, Robyn and Malcolm were drawn to Constitution Hill for practical reasons—they wanted to downsize from their nearly 100-year-old house and enjoy a low-maintenance lifestyle so Robyn could provide Malcolm with the daily care and support he needed.

“We didn’t want him to go into full-time care,” says Robyn. “He was still so creative, and we felt going into care would be stifling, so coming to Constitution Hill was a way to maintain as much independence as possible. That was the main thing that appealed to us about moving here.”

But their experience greatly exceeded their hopes for what life would be like at Constitution Hill.

“We thought we’d just move in, have less maintenance to do and have more time for our creativity,” says Robyn. “But then we found ourselves part of this fantastic community that welcomed us with open arms.”

In addition to keeping them active and engaged, relocating to Constitution Hill allowed the couple to live together in their unit right up until Malcolm’s final days.

Robyn says that even as his body gave up on him, his mind and spirit remained alive with creativity.

“He was still writing music in the hospital,” she recalls. “He had his music paper and notebook with him, and he’d write about the situation he was in—songs like ‘The Psychosomatic Shuffle’.”

Finding joy—and hope—in connection

Since moving to Constitution Hill, Robyn has experienced firsthand the power of social connection and community support, which are so crucial to our Real Wellbeing.

“The social contact is wonderful,” she says. “If you’re feeling a bit down, you can always go to the coffee shop, and there will be someone there to talk to. And when you join the groups and classes, you become part of that new little family.”

These relationships have offered much-needed support for Robyn, especially since her husband’s passing. The connections she’s made with others who have experienced similar losses have provided comfort, and the group activities allow Robyn to keep her mind and body active.

"It’s so much easier to be joyful here than if I were living alone in a house,” she says. “There’s always someone to talk to and people who can relate to what you’re going through. We really inspire each other to keep going."

A new chapter

Even as Robyn adjusts to life without Malcolm, she continues to find joy in her activities and friendships at Constitution Hill. The safety and support of the community allow her to pursue her passions and maintain her independence, with just a little extra help here and there when she needs it.

“All the maintenance is done for you, and the reception staff are fabulous,” she says. “You just need to go to the office and tell them a light bulb’s gone or something.”

Looking ahead, Robyn has no plans to slow down. Whether it’s going to see a musical, line dancing or catching up with friends and family, she feels empowered to live life on her terms.

"It truly is a wonderful community to belong to,” she says. “I can’t speak highly enough about it. It’s enhanced my joyfulness, and it’s just a really nice place to be."

For those considering moving to a retirement village like Constitution Hill, Robyn’s only advice is not to wait too long.

“Come in early enough to enjoy the community,” she says. “Be active, join in and enjoy life. Don’t wait until it’s too late and you miss the chance to make friends and be part of something bigger.”