How to set—and achieve—shared health goals with a partner

Ready to get healthier—together? There’s a reason so many films, TV shows and books are littered with dynamic duos. A partner can have a positive effect on your wellbeing—and that goes for your journey towards better health too. 

So how do you work out what you both want to achieve? And how do you make sure you stay on track? 

Here, we speak to two experts—a psychologist and a health coach—to discuss strategies and tips so you and your partner can start on the right foot and go on to smash your health goals. 

Why set shared health goals?

Setting a goal with a partner, family member or other significant person can be an instant motivation booster, says sport and performance psychologist Michael Inglis from The Mind Room. As you walk the same path towards your goals, you can cheer each other on and celebrate your mutual success, as well as build a stronger and closer relationship.

It can be quite practical to set shared goals too. If you’re living together, for example, a shared goal focused on something like eating healthier can set the status quo in your household. Before you set your goal, though, Michael reminds us that shared goals only work when there’s a common vision. 

“One person might be more driven than the other, but both parties need to be clear that they're actually in this together. The other person has to want to do it, otherwise it’s going to cause tension more than anything else.”

Ready, set… agreeing on shared health goals

So you’re both keen to get fitter together. Wonderful! But what does that mean? Does “getting fitter” mean the same thing to you as it does to your partner? 

Before you start booking in those CrossFit classes, have a good chat about your health goals, your motivations and what you’re actually agreeing. Remember, too, that sharing health goals doesn’t mean having to achieve identical outcomes. You also need to factor in your age and current health, says Michael. 

“If you are going to choose a goal together, you need to choose activities that are realistic for both of you. For example, if one person is a lot fitter than the other and wants to work towards a half marathon, the other person might consider that too much of a stretch and work towards running 10 kilometres instead. Or if it's a weight goal, you could work towards losing a percentage of weight rather than a set amount.”

Staying the course with shared health goals

Once you’ve agreed on goals, the real challenge begins. Amy Mullins, a registered nurse and senior healthcare coach at HealthierMe, a program run by Australian Unity, has plenty of tips on achieving your health goals together.

First, breaking a bigger goal down into smaller steps can help, she says. “You wouldn't go from being sedentary to running a marathon. Build up running in incremental sessions and then work towards where you want to be.”

Make sure you set things out clearly too. Amy suggests putting pen to paper: “Jot down what you want to do, how you're going to do it, when you're going to do it, and strategies for what you're going to do during the hard times, for example, when you’re tired. How are you going to troubleshoot those situations?” 

This is where a shared goal can be really effective. If you understand each other and your motivations, you can make a plan to encourage one another, especially during times of stress or when either of you is feeling demotivated. “That moral support can be so important,” says Amy.

Amy highlights another side to shared goals, though. What happens when one person is kicking their goals while the other is slipping behind? “Try to avoid being competitive, because you're each going to achieve things differently,” cautions Amy. 

“Say your partner has lost two kilos and you’ve only lost one. That can be a bit upsetting or disheartening, but people are built differently. Try not to feel too down if your partner's achieving more.” Instead, focus on the fact that you are both making headway on your own terms. 

Creating a shared health goal is like having your own personal cheerleader. The key is to get super clear on the goals you’re setting for yourselves, stay flexible and realise you don’t have to follow the exact same path to success. 

Now go out and smash those goals!